When I am reading a good book and the pages start to dwindle, but there seems to be so much more story to tell...I start to panic.I try to slow down turning the pages but I just cannot stop myself. I feel a pit forming in my stomach and I know that something bad will inevitably happen.
Add this to the already mounting stress of the story itself and you will find me smack in the middle. My latest read left me scared, not only because it gave me a glimpse into a world that could truly exist, but also because it made me face some harsh realities. When faced with tough situations how would I react? Would I find myself going with the flow in order to stay safe, or would I be brave and stand up to an unjust situation?
If I, in fact, found myself in a similar situation as the narrator of this book I would like to believe that I would toughen up, stand my ground, hold my head up high..and all those other things we tell ourselves when we feel completely and utterly defeated. But the truth I had to face as I delved deeper into this unbelievable tale, was that I would likely cower. Fear and the animal instinct to survive that we all hold inside would kick in and I would become numb as a coping mechanism.
I thought back to all the times in my life that I had to face a hard situation, and then I thought about how I handled myself. I must admit that I am not proud of some of my decisions. I hurt people and left them in my wake. In my defense, if there is a defense for poor behavior, is that I was young and probably not as mature as I liked to believe that I was.
So, when I picked up this book and dove in head first I had no idea how fully this story would affect me and how furious I would be at myself for not being a stronger person. I like to say that I am "smart,late". By this I mean I can always think of the exact right thing to say, or argument to make once the situation has passed. I would be horrible at improv, or being a spy for that matter. So when I read about situations where individuals who try to stand up to injustice are ridiculed, relegated to sects that de-value their existence, or worse...are killed, I find myself wondering if I would stand and fight or run and hide.
I entertain the idea that I would develop an iron will like those you see in the movies, but the truth is I do not believe I would at all. I don't know what makes me more upset, thinking about the actual injustice that I feel powerless to stop, or the belief that I would stand back and let it occur. So if you would like to have a full force, eye opening look into yourself I suggest that you pick up a copy of "The Handmaid's Tale" by Margaret Atwood. But be warned, you may never look at the world or yourself in the mirror, quite the same way again. So I guess I would like to know, if you were telling your story would it be accurate and true, or would you vary the details to hide the atrocities? Would you follow convention and give the happily ever after scenario, or be brutally honest and make us decide for ourselves how your story would end?
Feel free to comment below and give me your feedback, and if you read this book then comment how it made you feel. Until then, happy reading!
Amy
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